The 10 Silliest Weapons & Vehicles In GI Joe Lore (That We Still Love Anyway) G.I. Joe is a classic “80s series, joining series like Transformers and He-Man. Some of the toys the series spawned are so silly, they”re awesome.
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G.I. Joe is one of the quintessential series of the “80s, joining series like Transformers, He-Man, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the pantheon of awesome cartoons with awesome toylines. Just like those series G.I. Joe has just as many goofy toys that are a joke to go along with the awesome ones.
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This means that there are just as many accessories to go with your favorite real American heroes to laugh at as there are to fawn over. This list will show you ten of those vehicles and weapons that were pulled straight from G.I. Joe lore that deserve a round of applause for being so ridiculous.
This is probably the most specific weapon there is in G.I. Joe lore and somehow they still messed it up. Not only is it apparently able to be used in one situation against one “enemy” of the Joes, but it also doesn”t even look like it would work that well against that specific threat.
The Yeti Net is exactly what it sounds like but what comes to mind might not be what you see in real life. This Yeti Net is very thin and doesn”t even look like it would be able to stop this Yeti from being on the move. With all the technology the Joe”s have you think they”d have a better piece of equipment ready to take down what equates to a snow gorilla.
If you”re looking for something more war-ready in the arsenal of the American heroes then you may not want to look in the direction of their Mini-Tank Armadillo. It may sound like it”s going to be your standard tank, just smaller, you”re big-time wrong honestly.
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The Mini-Tank Armadillo is probably the worst designed tank in the history of tanks. Not only is it a small tank but there is absolutely no protection for the vehicle”s passengers. Seriously, a few shots and the passengers of the vehicle are done for. Don”t forget how slow tanks move, making this an even more dangerous ride.
Another horribly designed vehicle of the series, this time from the side of the terrorist organization Cobra. The Cobra Flight Pod, also known as the Trubble Bubble is one vehicle that would make no sense absolutely anywhere on the battlefield. Instead of striking fear in the hearts of the Joes, it just serves as a huge target for them to aim at.
Not only is just about every part of the passenger exposed allowing for easy snipes but it also has its weapons mounted where they can potentially hit the pilot as well. Just an all-around horrible machine that shouldn”t be used for any reason but a tour of the city.
7 THE MOLE POD
Coming from the movie side of the G.I. Joe series is The Mole Pod, another vehicle from the bright minds of Cobra. This vehicle is meant to tunnel underground in order to conduct surprise attacks on the Joes. Luckily for the Joes, this pod doesn”t look like it”ll be getting that far due to horrible design.
Not only is a drill vehicle a bad idea overall (because what”s going to happen when the ground behind you starts caving in) but someone had the bright idea to install a missile right at the tip of the drill. How does this thing work without that missile immediately going off? Also just how are they hoping to aim this thing?
When you think of a vehicle meant to transport weapons across the worst conditions while also being able to dodge attacks from Cobra what do you envision? A giant armored vehicle with a lot of space for these devices to ensure the safety of the driver and the technology in back? Well, that”s not what the scientists at Joe headquarters envisioned.
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Instead, we have a cute little buggy complete with big all-terrain wheels that probably keep the video going nice and slow. Oh and don”t forget the vision-impairing turret and completely vulnerable weapon in the back.
5 COBRA H.I.S.S
Yet another heavily flawed piece of Cobra technology. This giant battle tank might actually be something to fear if it weren”t for a few glaring details. Well actually more than a few because the whole tank really just needs a retooling.
It not only follows the common mistake of having its passengers on board with absolutely no protection but also features a huge glass screen where the driver is seated. Who sits here and designs these death traps that are more deadly for the pilots than the opposing side?
The G.I. Joe R.P.V or Remote Piloted Vehicle is probably one of the most dangerous vehicles in the history of G.I. Joe lore. Of course, in typical goofy Gi Joe fashion, the danger is more referring to the actual pilot of this vehicle instead of those the weapon accompanying it is supposed to be targeting.
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The thing is that there”s a huge rocket with the exhaust pointing right at the pilot of this vehicle. So yeah, you could potentially hit the opponent using the Joe”s state of the art targeting system but you probably won”t be firing off anything else off where you”re sitting.
3 COBRA BUZZ BOAR
There is no way that this thing works in any capacity. It just makes no sense for something designed like this to even exist. Not to mention is that this thing is apparently supposed to be a weapon of mass destruction. How exactly is something like this supposed to be used in the midst of dozens of explosions on the battlefield between two of the most technologically advanced organizations in history?
The correct answer is that it doesn”t. They just need to take this baby back to the drawing board.
An aircraft with a design to rival the horrible Cobra flight pod. In fact, this vehicle is designed even worse than the Cobra flight pod. Imagine being the pilot assigned to fly in one of these flying metal death traps. Probably not the best gig over at Cobra.
Lacking a cockpit and armed with nothing but a small minigun and missiles that probably rock the entire machine when they fire off, you”re probably doing more harm to yourself than good being in this copter. Another vehicle that literally turns you into a sitting duck.
1 COBRA IMP
It can be concluded with this last inclusion on this list that Cobra is the absolute worst when it comes to vehicle and weapon designs. This Cobra Imp is probably the worst design for anything that”s trying to pass as a tank ever.
First of all, what”s the point of the armor if it”s not covering the poor gunman as well. Second of all, what”s with Cobra and throwing their gunmen and pilots right in the line of literal fire of their multiple vehicles. As soon as a missile shoots off of this contraption the turret pilot is literally getting cooked.
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De”Angelo Epps is a writer that has been a huge fan of various comics, movies, anime, manga, and video games all his life. He”s an avid reader, fighting game fan, and as you can see here a writer as well! As a writer at Comic Book Resources, he hopes to put his skills to the test to bring the best content possible. Keep a tab on him if you enjoy his work here and enjoy!